Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
