I'm going to jail i love you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
