I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
