Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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