...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
