Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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