My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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