Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
