Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
