I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
