butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
