I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
