Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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