there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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