SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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