worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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