Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
