The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize