Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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