So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
