Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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