so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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