We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
