Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
