We're like a lot better than the average bears
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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