I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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