Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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