Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
