walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so much tequila, so little girl.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
