Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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