Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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