how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
