I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
