my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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