I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
