So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
