If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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