Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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