I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
