he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
