One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
