her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize