youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
