I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
