I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
