I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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