Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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