Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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