Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
