You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
