these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
