I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
