you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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