Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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