singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
