yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
