winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
