the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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