I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.