Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄