Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.