I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.