Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.